Switching to the right

This might be the first time in my life that I am excited about a doctors appointment.  Well, other than the ultrasound appointments while pregnant with my boys.  My appointment is at 3:15 tomorrow, and I have heard such wonderful things about this practice that I am extremely hopeful.  I will definitely let you know when I find out something.

On another note, I took a day off from spin today.  I really needed to.  I have been neglecting swimming and running.  I am planning on riding tonight after I make sure my kids are asleep, though.  It has become such a good stress relief for me.  I did swim and run for 30 minutes each at the gym this morning.  I realized how much of a left sided swimmer I am.  Unfortunately both of the races I have already decided on doing the buoys are on the swimmers right.  Here is to hoping that I can undo my left sided breathing only after a good 20 years of practice!  It was so weird trying to breath on my right.  I generally breath every 4-6 strokes in practice and 10-12 strokes in races, so I was trying to breath odd numbered strokes today to get in some right sided practice.  I felt like my breaths were shallow and useless.  More practice is definitely needed!

Running still stinks! I don't think it will ever get better.  More practice is needed here too.

Muncie 70.3 is officially a year away!  And Rend Lake's Tri is about 10 weeks.  So much to do before then...

What do I have to do to actually lose weight?

Frustrated.

Beyond words.

Annoyed.

What am I doing wrong?

I have been working out for somewhere between 8-11 hours a week for about 6 weeks now, and was working out and eating well before I joined the gym, and I haven't lost ANY weight.

That's not *entirely* true...I lost my baby weight...all 5 pounds I put on during my pregnancy with Keane.  I am down from my heaviest weight, which was both pre and post Teague's pregnancy. (I gained nothing with Teague, and I lost nothing either.  I haven't figured out how I can have an 8 pound baby and not at least weight 8 pounds less...) Most of this weight I actually lost while I was attempting to breastfed Teague, and failing at that. 

I can lose weight if I eat less than 1000 calories a day, but that is really unsustainable long term for me. Others have told me to eat more...I tried that, I may not gain weight, but I am definitely NOT losing weight. 

I am losing inches and sizes in clothing, but I WANT to lose pounds. 

I WANT to weigh less than David for once in my life.

I WANT to be out of the fat category when I go to the doctor.

Speaking of which, I am going to the doctor on the 18th.  I am hoping that this doctor (nurse practitioner actually) listens to me and doesn't blow me off and write on my medical forms that and I quote "am just lazy and obese."

I was going to post a picture of my weight, but I am afraid of the number still.  I am not as bold as my friend Leah.  Major props to her for putting it all out there!!!! Maybe one day...

Any suggestions from anyone who has gone through this journey?

I am tired of failing...